Shabbatcalypse: Team Ketubah Loves ‘Princesses: Long Island’ – And We Want To Create Ketubahs For Them

Some artists are inspired by the sublime statues and awe-inspiring architecture of Athens and Rome of antiquity; some artists are inspired by the humanized portraits of Rembrandt and the other great Dutch artists. Some artists are inspired by literature and Biblical anecdotes, and others by the simple work of the common American pastoral man. Other artists are inspired by the works of Nature, and still others by the ancient Mesopotamian art of our ancestors. The art which inspired us never represents God in an image, of course.

But here at Ketubah HQ, we in Team Ketubah are inspired by a modern work of art that may or may not be remembered by posterity forever alongside Michelangelo, Chagall, Picasso and Van Gogh. We are inspired by the TV show Princesses: Long Island.

It would be our pleasure to create a Ketubah for Erica Gimbel, Casey Cohen, Chanel Omari, Amanda Bertoncini (are you Jewish by the way?), Joey Lauren or Ashlee White. You are all awesome. We debate you Monday mornings in Ketubah HQ the way some teams debate verses from the Mishna or Gomorrah. But we all love you.

We want you all to find the perfect match and get married, so we can create your Ketubahs!

What is it about Princesses: Long Island that captures our imagination and desires so much, and fills us with excitement at the thought of creating a Ketubah for any of these young women?

First of all, it would be misleading not to admit one point: one of us here on Team Ketubah, without naming names, is from the same town where half the cast is from and much of the show takes place, the big GN. This member of our team, being about a decade older than the girls doesn’t know them personally, although his cousins (ten years younger and also from the same town do).

This show is a documentary of his life growing up. It brings back the heeby-jeebies just watching it. It’s helps him imagine: I escaped, but this is how life turns out for those who don’t! It’s like reliving high school, but with the wisdom that we lacked then — and, standing afar, the ability to laugh at it!

But the whole charm is, we’re not laughing “at” them, but “with” them because they’re laughing throughout. They have enough detachment to know what they’re doing, to enjoy it. The first episode ends with one of them declaring, “This is why we’re still single” — they understand the consequences of the behavior, and this gives it a level of self-consciousness and sophistication that we’re just not used to on Television. This wins us over.

Every episode has one line that’s so fantastic, it makes every moment worth it. In the first episode, it was Ashlee’s freaking out when driving in Freeport — although you really need to be from Longuyland to understand all the implications there. In the third episode, the line was…. we had a “Shabbatcalypse”! This is my new favorite word and I want to start using it all the time. Don’t have a Shabbatcalypse this weekend! This has instantly joined the pantheon of phrases that we use around the office! We love you!

Girls, we hope you get married and we would love to create Ketubahs for you. We have a policy of not doing discounts (we pride ourselves on giving the awesomest prices always to everyone, we don’t really have room to reduce it more!) but I think I would pay out of my own pocket for a discount to create your Ketubah for you!

Team Ketubah

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