Plato would reveal his sacred duties in his Ketubah in dialogue form, with the conversation between Socrates and Glaucon revealing his obligations and duties.

Aristotle’s Ketubah would argue that Plato’s Ketubah was completely wrong because it could never actually be enforced in the real world. His Ketubah would be based on more arithmetic logic.

The Great Stoic Seneca’s Ketubah would argue that since we’re all going to die anyway, we may as well follow our duties outlined in the Ketubah.

Spinoza… wait, is he classified as a Goy Thinker or as a Jew Thinker?

John Stuart Mill’s Ketubah would argue that we should voluntarily choose to be bound by the agreement of the Ketubah; if we do not agree with its provisions, we shouldn’t get married!

Niccolo Machiavelli’s would say all the right things but then, upon signing, be promptly ignored. Except in form, where everyone would pretend to follow it.

Kant’s Ketubah would reduce all of of the requirements to one imperative — the most extreme form of the Ketubah regulations themselves.

Nietzsche, in his Ketubah, would list his obligations by arguing how powerful he is — that übermensch he is! (did someone say mensch?) and, from that would argue for his responsibilities. Half of his Ketubah would be in the form of pithy aphorisms.

Freud’s Ketubah would argue… oh wait he’s a Jew. Oops. I wonder if his Ketubah is on file somewhere with some religious authority in Austria. Hmph.

Roger Waters’ Ketubah would argue that since we are all doomed we ought to live life to the day and focus on our goals, thus ignoring all of those who steer us away from the light of the Ketubah. And if anyone dares question Roger Waters’ place amongst the greatest list of thinkers, then you can take it up with me personally and directly and I will convince you he deserves to be here: morgan@thisisnotaketubah.com

The above list does not reflect the opinions of This Is Not a Ketubah nor any members of our Ketubah Collective. Rather, they reflect the opinions of only one man who is passionate about Ketubot, Morgan, who has gone approximately three days without sleeping.

Our amazing, one-and-only lead artist Yael — the creative genius behind many of our favorite Ketubot on This Is Not a Ketubah — will be traveling around the US in order to meet some of the couples we’re making Commissioned Ketubot with. In January, Yael will be Miami, New York, and Chicago.

Do you want to meet her? Or are you considering working with us to create an amazing Ketubot? Or do you simply just love our Ketubot and want to meet some of the team members behind them? Then let us know, and we’ll have a coffee! We’d love to meet you — we love meeting our fans!

Drop us a line: team@tinak.org

It’s no secret that weddings can be stressful. But when they’re done right, everything should be like walking on a cloud. And when the big day is over, what could feel better than letting all the stress of wedding planning and the hubbub of family melt away than jumping into a nice, cooling pool?

Team Ketubah can’t think of anything more relaxing or refreshing. If you have a pool on hand, we say go for it! This picture from the awesome bloggers over at 4 Real Equality Weddings captured the moment perfectly, so we give them a big This Is Not a Ketubah thanks!

There are so many things about this picture that spoke to us: the rich colors the photographer captured, the feelings of pure joy, and of course how incredibly refreshing it will feel when the two brides hit the water! Sure, autumn is in full force, but before the days get too short, might as well jump on in with the one you love. The jury is out on how much it will cost to dry-clean the dress, but we’ll bet no matter how much, it was totally worth it.

Our Ketubot are inspired by the same feelings that give this picture so much emotion. Creating cool, funky, positively awesome artwork is a matter of getting together and brainstorming what artistic styles are gorgeously in line with our values. From the most traditional weddings to interfaith, humanist, and same-sex ketubot, we only want to make a Ketubah that will give you and your fiance pure, unadultered bliss when you sign it.

From the beauty in your hearts to the beauty that you will hang on the wall of your home, Team Ketubah is here to help you with all of your Ketubah questions. And we won’t stop until it has arrived at your door!

Jacob
Team Ketubah

Few things could be as thrilling as seeing our couples featured in the New York Times–and getting a shout-out for our Ketubah! Could we ask for anything more phenomenal on an otherwise relaxing Friday afternoon? This Is Not a Ketubah was extremely excited to read that one of our fantastic Commissioned Ketubah couples was featured in the New York Times Vows section, and we couldn’t be happier for them!

As a dynamic duo of writers and editors, Jennifer & Jason asked Team Ketubah to create a design inspired by their love of writing, literature, and books. With a stylistically antique flair and the Ketubah text positioned as if it were on the page of a venerated book, we worked with the couple on several drafts until we could create the perfect custom Ketubah, just for them!

Here’s what the New York Times had to say:

Flanked by bouquets of orange roses, tulips and dahlias, they were married Oct. 29 at the Fairmont Hotel in Washington under a canopy supported by four white birch branches. They read from an appropriately antique-book-styled ketubah, a traditional Jewish marriage contract, and their reception dinner centerpieces were concocted from classic books.

We recommend you check out their NYT video, too. It’s just too cute!

Of course, Team Ketubah is thrilled to have been a part of such a fantastic wedding, and we wish Jen & Jason nothing but pure marital bliss. You can check out Jen’s forthcoming book The Year of the Gadfly in May!

How’s that for pre-Shabbat excitement?!

Jacob
Team Ketubah

Shabbat

If you happen to be from the New Jersey or New York Area, you might remember a series of particularly cheesy NJ Toursim ads with the slogan “New Jersey and You, Perfect together.” Well, it just may be time for the Team Ketubah Version:

Yarmulkes + Ketubot, Perfect Together

Many couples like to get creative, inspired, and downright funky when it comes to planning their wedding– including brightly colored and exciting Yarmulkes, or Kipahs, for their guests! From simple solid-color designs to complex woven Sephardic or Yemenite traditional patterns, the Kipah has always been a staple of Jewish party favors, from Bar Mitzvahs, Bris & Baby Naming ceremonies to Weddings themselves!

Beautifully planned weddings are all about the small touches that count. It’s the subtlety that guests on your big day notice as not just a sign of love, but that endures long after the party ends. A Ketubah which matches your Yarmulke choices? Of course! After proudly displaying your custom Chagall-inspired Ketubah at your wedding reception, the colored themes will truly be memorable as your family and friends bring their Kipot back to their homes. Will they remember your Ketubah forever? We think so!

Some wedding favors have gotten increasingly complex and technological as the years have gone by (whatever happened to the simple bags of candy? Will I ever use this engraved picture frame?) but the mainstays of Jewish tradition don’t seem to be going anywhere fast.

A Ketubah you will hang on your wall forever? Check. Kipot your guests will cherish as a memory of when they danced their socks off at your wedding? Incredible!

So, as your hunting around for the perfect wedding favor, you just might want to think about Kipot that match your Ketubah. They’re perfect together!

Jacob
Team Ketubah

Did you grow up dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little kid? Did castles, unicorns, and rainbows take a prominent part of your childhood imagination (and later chapter books filled with Princes & Princesses)? Books were an important part of growing up for a lot of Team Ketubah, from the Fairytales our Bubbes and Zeidis used to tell us before bedtime to the hours (and hours and hours) spent in the Library as we got a bit older.

David Stark Sketchbook always has some great photos with beautiful design ideas, form simple to extremely complex (and expensive) for all types of events, including ones that can be the inspiration for your wedding!

When a member of Team Ketubah saw these unusually simple but beautiful captivating paper-cuts from old books, we thought two things. First: what a great use for an old Yard Sale treasure trove of old books! Second, so many things about these unicorn-inspired designs speak directly to what This is Not a Ketubah is all about. Mixing beautiful modern designs with traditional literature and family favorites is the core of our Ketubah commitment to the couples we proudly serve.

Keep an eye out for the upcoming books-inspired Ketubah, and don’t forget that the wedding of your dreams doesn’t have to be about how much you spend, but how incredible it makes you feel– and your Ketubah should be the same! Whether a same-sex, interfaith, or traditional Ketubah is what you’re looking for, Team Ketubah wants to make sure you’re in love with your spouse, and the text you’ll be signing with him or her!

Enjoy these designs and don’t forget that with colorful designs and big imagination, the sky is the limit for a gorgeous Ketubah!

Jacob
Team Ketubah

Maybe it’s time to revamp the Standard Friday Afternoon Question: what are you doing this weekend? There is nothing quite like a crisp November weekend! Fall is in full swing, and if you happen to live in the northern part of the States, the leaves have already started to change with a flurry of awe-inspiring beauty and color. For our artists, preparing for Shabbat means winding out of the intense focus of the workweek to let our imaginations and creativity run wild, and the gorgeous colors of fall certainly make it easy!

As part of a pre-Shabbat brainstorming session, Team Ketubah asked ourselves: instead of asking each other “what are you doing this weekend” to the more fun version, full of inspiration and excitement, where the sky is the limit: “What would be your dream weekend?”

If you’re like us (well, this Ketubah blogger at least!) there is a sweet weakness which goes hand-in-hand with Snuggie-worthy nights and left-over Jack-o-Lanterns: caramel apples. Naturally, this idea wound its way into our Fall Weekend brainstorming session, and before you knew it we were dreaming up a scratch-and-sniff original Ketubah inspired by this great photo posted by the incredible wedding bloggers over at Broke-ass Bride.

So while a scratch-and-sniff Ketubah might be a little absurd, it doesn’t mean that designs shouldn’t be vivid enough to capture the deluxe feelings inspired by all five senses. From modern designs inspired by great artists of contemporary history to our own unique colorful Ketubahs.

So take Shabbas to dream about your favorite things you’d like to see on your Ketubah, whether they are caramel apples or snowmen (in the months to come!)

Shabbat Shalom!

Jacob
Team Ketubah

Lost in a sea of confusing Hebrew & Yiddish wedding jargon? Hebrew has always been the language of our people, from the days wondering in the desert to figuring out how to hail a cab in Israel. But what happens when you last went to Hebrew School in the fifth grade, and need to navigate through the tricky ceremonial order of a traditional Jewish wedding? Or if you’re new to the world of the Jewish Wedding and feel a little perplexed by all these new terms (and heavy emphasis on the use of the throat-clearing ‘H’ sound) you’re not alone!

Luckily, the wedding experts over at The Knot have put together this super-helpful Jewish Wedding Glossary of Terms. Even some members of Team Ketubah had a thing or two to learn form this great resource, which we happily recommend to even the most experienced Jewish couples– it’s never too late to learn new words!

If you’ve checked out some of our other (hopefully informational) posts from the world of funky modern art ketubahs, you know that all of Team Ketubah has a serious obsession with blending modern and traditional, old with new, and joyful with exuberant for your wedding celebration. So how can this list of words pulled straight from the shtetl days of Eastern Europe help make your day incredible?

This Is Not a Ketubah wants your wedding celebration to be both cool and meaningful. From adding new spins to old traditions (say, having the Bride and Groom both bless the Torah for their Aliyah) to knocking them out of the park (signing an incredible Rothko or Chagall-inspired Ketubah…my personal favorite!), we want to be part of the magic of your wedding day!

So take a look at The Knot’s incredible glossary, and let us know if you need help figuring out any of the words—we can commiserate together. Just kidding! We’re here to help, from creating a beautiful traditional or interfaith and gay Ketubah to tips on how to make sure your badchan doesn’t steal your limelight!

Jacob
Team Ketubah